Tuesday, November 23, 2010


The frustration continues for the MCC SA5 outfit, as another week goes by without a match being played.
From Hilson Park's refusal to play at EastBank, followed by a bye, rainout at Bedfordview and a wet pitch at home against Randburg this past weekend, the players are itching to get the season going.

Lets hope there are clear skies this weekend and a result against Scaw Metals this Saturday.





SA 7 Put to the Sword by Sandton CC

On a blistering Saturday Captain Rashaad won the toss and elected to bat 1st.This seem like an excellent decision on a pitch that looked like it would do something for the bowlers as the day progressed. Hazrat Joe was unfortunate to recieve the only ball that swung the whole game and lost his wicket early on. Naseef Seedat then joined Maroef :”Mamoo” Laher to set a record 135 run 1st wicket partnership befor Maroef lost his wicket for 43 runs. Naseef continued the great batting with Rashaad. Rashaad scored a quick fire 51 of 32 balls and Naseef scored 73 before he was bowled by a quicker ball of the decieving spin bowler. Hamza Bhai and Avi “Careless” chipped in with 19 and 30 runs respectively to set a total of 256 to win. Our new international import Saleh Mamajee Laher also joined the team for his 1st game. He came to our shores with Owais Shah and Ravi Bopara. Owais and Ravi decided to play for big teams but Saleh Mamajee decided to play for an even bigger team.

And then we got hammered !!!

The team have to recoup and take a serious look at the bowling and fielding. We lift our heads from the loss and keep moving forward to the next game.

The man of the match award was given to Naseef Seedat for his knock of 73 runs

(For the record Sandton scored 256 in 36 overs with 9 wickets in hand)
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Friday, November 19, 2010


Established in 1864, Eden Gardens is expected to hold 82,000 people following renovations that are expected to be completed before the start of the 2011 World Cup; a capacity down from an estimated 86,961 before the upgrade. Prior to the 1987 World Cup, the capacity was said to be approximetely 120,000; however, no official figures have been recorded.[2] Nevertheless, it will remain second biggest cricket stadium in the world, behind the Melbourne Cricket Ground in Australia and Eden Gardens is also the second largest stadium in India behind the Salt Lake Stadium also situated in Kolkata.

Highlights at Eden Gardens include:
Hosting the memorable World Cup final of 1987 which ended with Australia defeating England by 7 runs.

VVS Laxman scored 281 against the Australians in 2000/01. This remains the highest score at the ground. Australia were defeated despite holding the advantage for the majority of the game in "the greatest come-from-behind victory of modern times". It was only the third time in Test history that a team had won after being forced to follow on. Coincidentally, it was Australia which ended on the losing side on the previous two occasions as well.

SA8 puts Crescents to the sword

From a scenic Linbro cricket ground, MCC SA8 wasted no time in expressing their prowess as not just coming for an afternoon braai, but playing some beautiful cricket!

Batting first, SA8 notched up 252/9, their highest total ever.Ziyaad Jogee notched 59, Mohamed Amod 39, and Ishaq a quickfire 36.

The chase from Lenasia Crescents began in ernest, with 23 runs in the first 9 balls. Naeem Nathie, after advice from captain Mohammadie Makda put his back into it, and got a top edge well caught by Timer, Mohamed Seedat.
From there on, Nathie and Zameer did a sterling job with the new ball,followed by Jogee.

Crescents CC bowled out for 79, Zameer and Jogee claiming 4 wickets each.

A fantastic 173 run victory by the lads, impressing more and more and good fighting spirit established in the squad.
Ziyaad Jogee was awarded Man of the Match, and joined in the 50 club for SA8 this season! So far, 50's scored by Jogee, Makda, Rayhaan Seedat, Amod and Timer! Keep it up boys!


The old adage "crawl before you run" dont apply to the Sunday team, as they walloped Highlands CC by 147 runs.

Batting first, Marlboro scored 248/9 after 35 overs. An opening partnership of 129 by Zain(53) and Jaydee(56),set up the huge total. Zain was given out lbw by Umpire Russell Tiffin of Zimbabwe!{uncle}
Following on McDonalds of previous weeks, both Avi and Hamza enjoyed duck this week!!!

This was followed by a great bowling spell by Jaydeep and Mayoor, who had Highlands reeling early with no chance of any revival.Youngster Talha Fulat claimed his first wicket for MCC too.Highlands eventually all out for 100.

Overall, a convincing win for the team, which is starting to look settled. Everyone finding their role in the team dynamics, and looking forward to more convincing performances.





Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hard Labour for SA7 against Alberton

The Day started of like any other at the MCG (Marlboro Cricket Ground) the Heavy roller was pulled out and then started up to roll the pitch. 3/4 way to the pitch the roller switched of and this was a sign of things to come.

The roller kept “choking” and would not stay on so the big muscle had to be called in and some manual labour was required to roll the pitch to get it half decent to play on. The team of muscle didnt to too bad a job in rolling the pitch and SA5 guest player Eboo “Chacha” must have dreaded deciding to assist us as he was made put to pushing the roller.

The SA7 team went in to bat and Hazrat Joe Chotia Opened the batting with Eboo. Hazrat Joe couldnt come to terms with the early unpredictability of the pitch and was dimissed early on. Muhajir “Broekies” Rawat then partnered with Eboo to up the run rate and keep the score ticking along. Wickets fell regularly and Hamza Bhai “Boom Boom” then stepped up and hit a super 54 with Abed rotating the strike to ensure a decent total of 180 for 7 was reached in the allotted 40 overs.

The opening bowling partnership of Muhajir “Broekies” Rawat and Mayur “Manickchand Patel tore through the opposition line up and after 17 overs Alberton were 65 for 9. Muhajir and Mayur bowled 8 overs on the trot in an attempt to bowl Alberton out. This didnt work out and the last wicket partnership for Alberton was +/- 70 runs before Nasief got the last wicket caught at midwicket by Avi “Careless”. SA7 continue on the winning path, winning the game by 38 runs.

The man of the match award was shared by Hamza Bhai “Boom Boom” and Mayur “Manickchand”. Both subcontinental players were elated by their performances

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Friday, November 12, 2010

SA5 and SA7 Washouts vs Bedfordview

Marlboro SA5 and SA7 both had their fixtures against Bedfordview washed out after some afternoon thunderstorms.

SA5 restricted Bedfordview to 206 on a good batting strip, and looked set to notch up another win. The weather however had different ideas.

At MCG Rashaad's boys notched 220 before the heavens opened. A mention has to be made of Captain Rashaad's knock of 56 in 26 balls.

After smashing 2 fours, and looking good before the thunderstorm, Zain was allowed to keep the brand new SA5 Man of the Match Bat! Heres hoping he can retain it in two weeks time!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Silence Of The Ham

This blog post has been a long time coming. I've always wanted to air my views about all these Halaal certifying authorities and for lack of a better phrase, what a crock of bull I think they all are.
I never really wrote about it before because my friends, family, total strangers and my legal team all advised me against it, citing the libel and defamation of character legal cases that would be opened against me.
It's only this year that this became a mute point, as my bank balance after the recession means I no longer have anything to lose by being sued. That Happy Meal fund I once kept in a trust account has now been exhausted, and I can finally throw caution to the wind.
Here's a little background for those unfamiliar with these Halaal certifying authorities.

For thousands of years, (millions if you count the dinosaurs who were religious), men and mammals have been roaming this earth and doing the most basic thing all men do: eating! (Sex will be discussed in a later post.)
When fire was discovered in 12BC (give or take a few thousand years), man (and by man I mean human beings, which includes women too) realized that adding heat to meat resulted in a sensory orgasm to the taste buds. You can only imagine what Marco Polo's journey to the East and subsequent discovery of spices in India did to the average Europeans palate!

Moving ahead 675 years, a guy by the name of Bilal arrived aboard the Dromedaris as a slave labourer in Durban, and worked the sugar-cane fields of what is now known as KwaZulu Natal.
When his cousins, uncles and 429 other immediate relatives disembarked and set up home in the Natal South Coast, predominantly in areas such as Stanger, Verulam and Chatsworth, Bilal soon realized that they were going to have a huge dinner problem that night since no women were imported from India on the same ship.
By 8pm that evening, the entrepreneurial and resourceful Bilal had set up the very first Muslim-owned fast-food outlet: Bilals Bunny Chows.
Nobody knows why or how the term "Bunny Chow" was coined, but rumour has it there was a rabbit and a Chinamen involved somewhere.

Some time in the early 70's, two mercurial friends from vastly different backgrounds were discussing the success stories of members of their respective faiths.
Saeed, a devout Muslim who owned a fabric store in the Oriental Plaza in Fordsburg, and who was renowned for selling his cloth cheaper than Rajeev Patel in India who owned the factory which made the material and sold it to Saeed; and Avraham Ben-Zion, an orthodox Jew from Norwood in Johannesburg who's family sold Hazmat suits to the emergency services sector.
Saeed and Avraham were discussing the booming fast-food industry in South Africa, and contemplated how they could best capitalize on this growing segment. During their discussions, Avraham mentioned Kashrus Beth Din and how this single body certified all kosher food as being fit for Jewish consumption, and how fantastic it was that this non-profit organization provided a much-needed service to consumers, manufacturers and retailers alike.
Saeed was astounded. Partly at the remarkable effort involved in such an operation, partly at the immense trust and faith that would be required by all parties involved, but mostly he was astounded that the notorious money-hoarding Jews hadn't yet figured out a way of making money off this crucial service!
He immediately set about forming his own authority, one which would target the Muslim population of the country. His authority's objective would be to certify all foods consumed by Muslims throughout the country as being Halaal. The fact that Muslims by nature were already extremely critical of what they consumed did not deter him in the slightest. The fact that Muslims were renowned for supporting their fellow Muslims in an effort to ensure that there was a chain of trust from manufacturer to supplier to consumer did not deter him. The fact that Muslims were buying fresh meat from butcheries named Mohammeds Butcher and fast-food from Akhalwaya's Take-Aways and such similarly named obviously Muslim outlets did not deter him.
Our intrepid entrepreneur knew that the combination of fear to consumers and potential losses to the industry was sufficient armour with which to battle and divide the sheep. The time was ripe to fleece the people, and he would rely on sheer ingenuity by pulling the wool over their eyes!

Fast-forward twenty years and Saeed was now wealthy and mighty beyond numbers and words. He was so wealthy in fact, that the mere mention from this Halaal certifying deity that a certain business had not been verified by him, was sufficient to see the business lose loyal support and ultimately close down!
He was so wealthy and mighty that the mere mention that he had not verified Sheikh Haji Mohammed Ebrahim Kareem as being Muslim, and hence the samoosas made by Sheikh Haji Mohammed Ebrahim Kareems wife, Aalima Bibi Fathima Nawaab Rasool, could not be verified as being Halaal, was sufficient to prevent the entire Muslim population from buying any samoosas made or sold by this humble family.
Forgotten were the days when the Muslim society would walk into a store, greet the owner or manager cordially and inquire as to the Halaal status of the food served, and upon being satisfied, sit down to a hearty meal.
Forgotten were the days when people would share a common trust, and there was honour between buyer and seller.
Saeed in his brilliant shrewdness had devised a way in which trust and honour were replaced by fear and uncertainty.
He had found a loophole that the Jews in their mastery of all things capitalist had overlooked.
He had found a way to make the Muslim nation fear the unknown, and to charge manufacturers and suppliers and retailers to appease those fears!

Saeed had a vision where one day, every product made and manufactured, would carry the stamp of his Halaal certifying authority, and each stamp would come at a price. It would be like owning your own money-printing press! He would compete with the Reserve Bank to see who could print money faster!

By the turn of the 21st century, Saeed was making so much money, he was regarded by most as God's Banker. He was charging to certify everything and anything as being Halaal, even shoes and clothes! The depth of gullibility of the South African Muslim knew no limits. They were being led to the slaughterhouse like blind sheep. Nobody questioned. Not even when Saeed declared the most idiotic items as being unfit for Muslim consumption, simply because the manufacturer or supplier was not willing to pay him his extortion fee!

Reactionary groups were quickly formed to object to Saeeds business practices, but not with the intention of shutting him down. Instead they were furious that Saeed was not sharing the proceeds of his extortion. Within 10 years there were more Halaal certifying authorities springing up all over the country.
They had realized that the old business adage "where there are sheep there will always be a need for shepherds" would hold true for many more years, probably until Jesus came back to earth.

Avraham Ben-Zion watched in awe as such a simple act of enjoying a meal, buying a shoe or garment, or even breathing, had been turned into a racketeering and extortionist enterprise by Saeed. He couldn't believe that an entire religious society comprising doctors, lawyers, academics and professors could be so easily duped into believing that they had to pay for the right to trust.

Many years later, Avraham Ben-Zion bumped into Saeed at a local Mochacho's Chicken Outlet. The two sat down to a hearty meal and Avraham finally asked Saeed the question that had been burning inside of him for over forty years : How much is enough Saeed?
Saeed raised his gaze and smiled at Avraham.
"Until they wake up my friend, and realize the truth. Until they wake up."
Avraham sat in disbelief as Saeed detailed each new certification, and how he thought "I'll try this one on them, push the envelope, and see if they wake up." Each time the masses willingly followed. He certified fruit, and they followed. He certified water, and they followed. He certified shoes, and they followed. He certified jackets and clothing, and they followed. He certified items which had absolutely nothing to do with consumption, and yet they followed.
Every manufacturer and supplier and retailer of every product in the world was paying Saeed to place his stamp of approval on their merchandise, simply to settle the fear of the Muslim buyer that the product was Halaal, or approved for their use.
Then he outlined his plan for total domination!
He was in the process of certifying air. The very air we breath.
"Surely they will not fall for this!" Avraham Ben-Zion exclaimed.
"Surely, you would think... but they have fallen for every other idiotic idea so far, haven't they?" Saeed answered.

An empire built on the fear and belief that everything made for either consumption or use, surely contains pig fat or traces of pork, unless Saeed or his merry henchmen say otherwise.

“This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and liven with them in honour, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter” (5:5).
The quote from the good book mentions neither Saeed nor any "Halaal Certifying Authority"...

On a side-note, Bilals Bunny Chows currently has over 650 outlets nationwide, second only to MacDonalds.
None of them certified as Halaal by Saeed.

On a personal note, whenever I see any of the signs below on any item I intend purchasing, I always wonder how much extortion fee's the manufacturer had to pay for the stamp of approval. Then I buy the one which doesn't have the stamp.
Eating pork is against a Muslims belief.
Being gullible and unable to use your brain to figure out right from wrong unless someone tell's it to you, is against mine.

With kind permission from thekalooreport.blogspot.com









Monday, November 8, 2010

The Marlboro Cricket Club hosted a cricket development clinic with Nashua Titans player Gulam Bodi.

Marlboro Cricket Club (MCC) youth development programme held a special clinic with Nashua Titans player Gulam Bodi at the Marlboro Sports Complex.
Bodi offered the youth guidance and tips as they worked out with professional training drills.
“I always have time for this community and fully support this development initiative. Our kids need to be given the platform to develop which is something we did not have,” said Bodi.
Head of the MCC junior development programme Ismail Loonat thanked Bodi for his support and influence on the youth. Youth aged 6 to 15 years attended.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Marlboro Cricket Board bans the lbw

The Marlboro Cricket Board has broken new ground once again, announcing that they have slapped a life ban on the lbw rule. Under the ban, the lbw rule will simply cease to exist when Marlboro are batting, greatly reducing the chances that their batsmen will be dismissed cheaply, ensuring higher scores and more victories.

"We have realised that, over the years, the lbw rule has caused great harm to Marlboro cricket. It caused much embarrassment to our umpires. More recently, it has caused the downfall of our top order batsmen, since they tend to fall over on the front foot early on in their innings. "So we have no hesitation in implementing a complete and total life ban on the lbw rule with immediate effect.

The ban has been welcomed by several former Marlboro batting stars, except “Ebo”, who would have preferred a ban on the run-out rule. Former great Chacha went so far as to say, "In my playing days, lbw was always banned in Marlboro, only not officially. It was there only in foreign countries.
However, MCC Chairman also admitted that the MCC could temporarily reverse the ban whenever Marlboro is bowling in a match. "You have to understand that in Marlboro a life ban lasts only as long as the life of the ban," he winked.

MCC Junior Development Begins

Under the guidance of MCC Stalwart and following on from the great contribution of Ahmed Chacha, Ismail "Jones" Loonat has began coaching the juniors.This takes place Saturday mornings from 10:30 to 12:30

MCC fixture list 06-07 November 2010

MCC SA5 take on Bedfordview away.

SA7 also play Bedfordview at Marlboro Oval.

Marlboro SA8 vs Delfos Cricket Club in Bosmont.






SA 7 bring out the heavy roller

The MCC SA 7 kept to winning ways this past weekend against Delfos. The team literally pulled out the heavy roller to sort out the pitch at the Marlboro Cricket Grounds (MCG) which is slowly but surely returning to not only looking but also playing like a decent cricket wicket. Our Chairman Zain also chipped in with some mechanical theories of a dirty filter!

Captain "Napaak" Rashaad lost the toss and MCC SA7 were put in to bat, which turned out to be not so bad after all. A solid foundation of 51 runs of the 1st ten overs by opening pair Hazrat Joe Chotia and the timer Maroef Mamoo set the stage for a decent total. Captain Rashaad was furious with Maroef for the LBW decision against him and the team went through a mini collapse in the middle order. At drinks We were at 95 for 4 and things we looking a bit bleak. The drinks break seemed to refresh the team and Muhajir "Broekies" who was having a bit of a "shitty" experience stepped up with an solid knock of 61 not out including some spectacular boundaries, with the other batsmen chipping in to alot a total of 216 for 9 after 40 overs.

The opposition came out with a game plan of hit big hope for the best and they were well on target achieving a run rate of 5.6 in the 1st ten overs with 2 dropped catches not helping much either. A change in bowling by the captain bringing himself on was the start of Delfos demise. Hazrat Joe complemented the captains bowling from the opposite end and the brother-in-laws of destruction dried up the runs. At drinks Delfos were on 91 for 4. Again a drinks break seemed to do the trick for the MCC and Delfos only managed to score 25 more runs before being bowled out for 116 in the 29th over.
Captain Rashaad ending up with 4 wickets in 8 overs.

An overall convincing victory for the MCC SA7 and the heavy roller was figuratively brought out with a 101 run victory.

Man of the match was awarded to Muhajir "Broekies" Rawat for his awesome batting spell.

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