Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A THOUGHT...
Seeing Kallis' recent batting performance, do you see a relationship between lack of hair and lack of runs??
Rumour has it certain top order batsmen are looking to grow zulfas!!
PLEASE COMMENT...
Rumour has it certain top order batsmen are looking to grow zulfas!!
PLEASE COMMENT...
Monday, January 3, 2011
USMAN KHAWAJA DEBUTS FOR AUSTRALIA
Ricky Ponting will miss the final Test of the Ashes series. He will be replaced by Usman Khawaja, who has been a part of the Australian squad since the Pakistan series, but is yet to make his debut.
Khawaja is a Pakistani-born player and moved to Australia with his family when he was just three years old. He will be the first Muslim player to represent the Australian cricket team when he receives the baggy green in the Sydney Test.
Khawaja grew up watching the Australian team dominate the other teams in the world. He used to hang around the entrance of the ground until he was allowed to have a peek at his heroes playing under the captaincy of Steve Waugh. His family wasn’t able to afford match tickets, but now Khawaja will be the part of the team which he used to watch. It will be a priceless experience for Khawaja as he replaces Ponting for the Sydney Test.
He will be making his debut at his home ground. Australia has already lost the Ashes but the series can be saved if the hosts can manage a win in the final Test. Khawaja is excited about his chances and said, “It's been a childhood dream for me. Ever since I can remember I wanted to play for Australia.”
Khawaja is a wristy left-hander and has impressed his team-mates with his performances in the domestic season. The 24-year-old also received words of praise from the man he will replace; Ricky Ponting. The New South Wales player also has great regard for Ponting. He stated, “Ricky is a legend of a cricketer, a legend of a bloke. I've only met him a few times, but he's made me feel like I've been part of the team when I really haven't.”
He also said that he will only look to perform in the match and is not there to replace the legendary Australian cricketer. He said, “He's the kind of guy that if he told me to jump off a bridge I probably would, I'd follow him anywhere. I'm not here to fill Ricky Ponting's shoes, I'm going to go out there and try and do the best I can. To replace 12,000 runs is a big feat and I still haven't scored any.”
Playing for North South Wales (NSW), Khawaja has featured in 27 first-class games and has scored runs at an average of 51.70. He started the season with a double ton but hasn’t been able to score another century after that. He has however scored some useful fifties for his team. He was the leading scorer in the Sheffield Shield Cup, scoring 598 runs at an average of 74.75. The Australian team has been unable to get big scores from their top order batsmen. Most of the runs have come from the middle and lower-middle order.
Usman Khawaja will be expected to score that big hundred for the team which they have been missing from the likes of Ponting, Michael Clarke and Shane Watson. This will be a tough ask for Khawaja, but if he manages to make a big score on debut, it will be quite a memorable innings for him.
All eyes will be set on the debutant Khawaja. It will not be easy for him as England will put him under pressure, but he could be the answer to Australia’s recent batting problems.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A WEEKEND OF CRICKET TO RATHER FORGET
It was a rather ordinary weekend of cricket by MCC as both the SA5 and SA8 squads suffered defeats...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
FRUSTRATION CONTINUES FOR SA5
The frustration continues for the MCC SA5 outfit, as another week goes by without a match being played.
From Hilson Park's refusal to play at EastBank, followed by a bye, rainout at Bedfordview and a wet pitch at home against Randburg this past weekend, the players are itching to get the season going.
Lets hope there are clear skies this weekend and a result against Scaw Metals this Saturday.
From Hilson Park's refusal to play at EastBank, followed by a bye, rainout at Bedfordview and a wet pitch at home against Randburg this past weekend, the players are itching to get the season going.
Lets hope there are clear skies this weekend and a result against Scaw Metals this Saturday.
SA 7 Put to the Sword by Sandton CC
On a blistering Saturday Captain Rashaad won the toss and elected to bat 1st.This seem like an excellent decision on a pitch that looked like it would do something for the bowlers as the day progressed. Hazrat Joe was unfortunate to recieve the only ball that swung the whole game and lost his wicket early on. Naseef Seedat then joined Maroef :”Mamoo” Laher to set a record 135 run 1st wicket partnership befor Maroef lost his wicket for 43 runs. Naseef continued the great batting with Rashaad. Rashaad scored a quick fire 51 of 32 balls and Naseef scored 73 before he was bowled by a quicker ball of the decieving spin bowler. Hamza Bhai and Avi “Careless” chipped in with 19 and 30 runs respectively to set a total of 256 to win. Our new international import Saleh Mamajee Laher also joined the team for his 1st game. He came to our shores with Owais Shah and Ravi Bopara. Owais and Ravi decided to play for big teams but Saleh Mamajee decided to play for an even bigger team.
And then we got hammered !!!
The team have to recoup and take a serious look at the bowling and fielding. We lift our heads from the loss and keep moving forward to the next game.
The man of the match award was given to Naseef Seedat for his knock of 73 runs
(For the record Sandton scored 256 in 36 overs with 9 wickets in hand)
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And then we got hammered !!!
The team have to recoup and take a serious look at the bowling and fielding. We lift our heads from the loss and keep moving forward to the next game.
The man of the match award was given to Naseef Seedat for his knock of 73 runs
(For the record Sandton scored 256 in 36 overs with 9 wickets in hand)
..::::
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Boeta
Friday, November 19, 2010
CRICKET STADIUMS: EDEN GARDENS
Established in 1864, Eden Gardens is expected to hold 82,000 people following renovations that are expected to be completed before the start of the 2011 World Cup; a capacity down from an estimated 86,961 before the upgrade. Prior to the 1987 World Cup, the capacity was said to be approximetely 120,000; however, no official figures have been recorded.[2] Nevertheless, it will remain second biggest cricket stadium in the world, behind the Melbourne Cricket Ground in Australia and Eden Gardens is also the second largest stadium in India behind the Salt Lake Stadium also situated in Kolkata.
Highlights at Eden Gardens include:
Hosting the memorable World Cup final of 1987 which ended with Australia defeating England by 7 runs.
VVS Laxman scored 281 against the Australians in 2000/01. This remains the highest score at the ground. Australia were defeated despite holding the advantage for the majority of the game in "the greatest come-from-behind victory of modern times". It was only the third time in Test history that a team had won after being forced to follow on. Coincidentally, it was Australia which ended on the losing side on the previous two occasions as well.
SA8 puts Crescents to the sword
From a scenic Linbro cricket ground, MCC SA8 wasted no time in expressing their prowess as not just coming for an afternoon braai, but playing some beautiful cricket!
Batting first, SA8 notched up 252/9, their highest total ever.Ziyaad Jogee notched 59, Mohamed Amod 39, and Ishaq a quickfire 36.
The chase from Lenasia Crescents began in ernest, with 23 runs in the first 9 balls. Naeem Nathie, after advice from captain Mohammadie Makda put his back into it, and got a top edge well caught by Timer, Mohamed Seedat.
From there on, Nathie and Zameer did a sterling job with the new ball,followed by Jogee.
Crescents CC bowled out for 79, Zameer and Jogee claiming 4 wickets each.
A fantastic 173 run victory by the lads, impressing more and more and good fighting spirit established in the squad.
Ziyaad Jogee was awarded Man of the Match, and joined in the 50 club for SA8 this season! So far, 50's scored by Jogee, Makda, Rayhaan Seedat, Amod and Timer! Keep it up boys!
THE SUNDAY LADS ARE UP AND RUNNING
The old adage "crawl before you run" dont apply to the Sunday team, as they walloped Highlands CC by 147 runs.
Batting first, Marlboro scored 248/9 after 35 overs. An opening partnership of 129 by Zain(53) and Jaydee(56),set up the huge total. Zain was given out lbw by Umpire Russell Tiffin of Zimbabwe!{uncle}
Following on McDonalds of previous weeks, both Avi and Hamza enjoyed duck this week!!!
This was followed by a great bowling spell by Jaydeep and Mayoor, who had Highlands reeling early with no chance of any revival.Youngster Talha Fulat claimed his first wicket for MCC too.Highlands eventually all out for 100.
Overall, a convincing win for the team, which is starting to look settled. Everyone finding their role in the team dynamics, and looking forward to more convincing performances.
Batting first, Marlboro scored 248/9 after 35 overs. An opening partnership of 129 by Zain(53) and Jaydee(56),set up the huge total. Zain was given out lbw by Umpire Russell Tiffin of Zimbabwe!{uncle}
Following on McDonalds of previous weeks, both Avi and Hamza enjoyed duck this week!!!
This was followed by a great bowling spell by Jaydeep and Mayoor, who had Highlands reeling early with no chance of any revival.Youngster Talha Fulat claimed his first wicket for MCC too.Highlands eventually all out for 100.
Overall, a convincing win for the team, which is starting to look settled. Everyone finding their role in the team dynamics, and looking forward to more convincing performances.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Hard Labour for SA7 against Alberton
The Day started of like any other at the MCG (Marlboro Cricket Ground) the Heavy roller was pulled out and then started up to roll the pitch. 3/4 way to the pitch the roller switched of and this was a sign of things to come.
The roller kept “choking” and would not stay on so the big muscle had to be called in and some manual labour was required to roll the pitch to get it half decent to play on. The team of muscle didnt to too bad a job in rolling the pitch and SA5 guest player Eboo “Chacha” must have dreaded deciding to assist us as he was made put to pushing the roller.
The SA7 team went in to bat and Hazrat Joe Chotia Opened the batting with Eboo. Hazrat Joe couldnt come to terms with the early unpredictability of the pitch and was dimissed early on. Muhajir “Broekies” Rawat then partnered with Eboo to up the run rate and keep the score ticking along. Wickets fell regularly and Hamza Bhai “Boom Boom” then stepped up and hit a super 54 with Abed rotating the strike to ensure a decent total of 180 for 7 was reached in the allotted 40 overs.
The opening bowling partnership of Muhajir “Broekies” Rawat and Mayur “Manickchand Patel tore through the opposition line up and after 17 overs Alberton were 65 for 9. Muhajir and Mayur bowled 8 overs on the trot in an attempt to bowl Alberton out. This didnt work out and the last wicket partnership for Alberton was +/- 70 runs before Nasief got the last wicket caught at midwicket by Avi “Careless”. SA7 continue on the winning path, winning the game by 38 runs.
The man of the match award was shared by Hamza Bhai “Boom Boom” and Mayur “Manickchand”. Both subcontinental players were elated by their performances
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Boeta
The roller kept “choking” and would not stay on so the big muscle had to be called in and some manual labour was required to roll the pitch to get it half decent to play on. The team of muscle didnt to too bad a job in rolling the pitch and SA5 guest player Eboo “Chacha” must have dreaded deciding to assist us as he was made put to pushing the roller.
The SA7 team went in to bat and Hazrat Joe Chotia Opened the batting with Eboo. Hazrat Joe couldnt come to terms with the early unpredictability of the pitch and was dimissed early on. Muhajir “Broekies” Rawat then partnered with Eboo to up the run rate and keep the score ticking along. Wickets fell regularly and Hamza Bhai “Boom Boom” then stepped up and hit a super 54 with Abed rotating the strike to ensure a decent total of 180 for 7 was reached in the allotted 40 overs.
The opening bowling partnership of Muhajir “Broekies” Rawat and Mayur “Manickchand Patel tore through the opposition line up and after 17 overs Alberton were 65 for 9. Muhajir and Mayur bowled 8 overs on the trot in an attempt to bowl Alberton out. This didnt work out and the last wicket partnership for Alberton was +/- 70 runs before Nasief got the last wicket caught at midwicket by Avi “Careless”. SA7 continue on the winning path, winning the game by 38 runs.
The man of the match award was shared by Hamza Bhai “Boom Boom” and Mayur “Manickchand”. Both subcontinental players were elated by their performances
( ",)
/|>
/\
Boeta
Friday, November 12, 2010
SA5 and SA7 Washouts vs Bedfordview
Marlboro SA5 and SA7 both had their fixtures against Bedfordview washed out after some afternoon thunderstorms.
SA5 restricted Bedfordview to 206 on a good batting strip, and looked set to notch up another win. The weather however had different ideas.
At MCG Rashaad's boys notched 220 before the heavens opened. A mention has to be made of Captain Rashaad's knock of 56 in 26 balls.
After smashing 2 fours, and looking good before the thunderstorm, Zain was allowed to keep the brand new SA5 Man of the Match Bat! Heres hoping he can retain it in two weeks time!
SA5 restricted Bedfordview to 206 on a good batting strip, and looked set to notch up another win. The weather however had different ideas.
At MCG Rashaad's boys notched 220 before the heavens opened. A mention has to be made of Captain Rashaad's knock of 56 in 26 balls.
After smashing 2 fours, and looking good before the thunderstorm, Zain was allowed to keep the brand new SA5 Man of the Match Bat! Heres hoping he can retain it in two weeks time!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Silence Of The Ham
This blog post has been a long time coming. I've always wanted to air my views about all these Halaal certifying authorities and for lack of a better phrase, what a crock of bull I think they all are.
I never really wrote about it before because my friends, family, total strangers and my legal team all advised me against it, citing the libel and defamation of character legal cases that would be opened against me.
It's only this year that this became a mute point, as my bank balance after the recession means I no longer have anything to lose by being sued. That Happy Meal fund I once kept in a trust account has now been exhausted, and I can finally throw caution to the wind.
Here's a little background for those unfamiliar with these Halaal certifying authorities.
For thousands of years, (millions if you count the dinosaurs who were religious), men and mammals have been roaming this earth and doing the most basic thing all men do: eating! (Sex will be discussed in a later post.)
When fire was discovered in 12BC (give or take a few thousand years), man (and by man I mean human beings, which includes women too) realized that adding heat to meat resulted in a sensory orgasm to the taste buds. You can only imagine what Marco Polo's journey to the East and subsequent discovery of spices in India did to the average Europeans palate!
Moving ahead 675 years, a guy by the name of Bilal arrived aboard the Dromedaris as a slave labourer in Durban, and worked the sugar-cane fields of what is now known as KwaZulu Natal.
When his cousins, uncles and 429 other immediate relatives disembarked and set up home in the Natal South Coast, predominantly in areas such as Stanger, Verulam and Chatsworth, Bilal soon realized that they were going to have a huge dinner problem that night since no women were imported from India on the same ship.
By 8pm that evening, the entrepreneurial and resourceful Bilal had set up the very first Muslim-owned fast-food outlet: Bilals Bunny Chows.
Nobody knows why or how the term "Bunny Chow" was coined, but rumour has it there was a rabbit and a Chinamen involved somewhere.
Some time in the early 70's, two mercurial friends from vastly different backgrounds were discussing the success stories of members of their respective faiths.
Saeed, a devout Muslim who owned a fabric store in the Oriental Plaza in Fordsburg, and who was renowned for selling his cloth cheaper than Rajeev Patel in India who owned the factory which made the material and sold it to Saeed; and Avraham Ben-Zion, an orthodox Jew from Norwood in Johannesburg who's family sold Hazmat suits to the emergency services sector.
Saeed and Avraham were discussing the booming fast-food industry in South Africa, and contemplated how they could best capitalize on this growing segment. During their discussions, Avraham mentioned Kashrus Beth Din and how this single body certified all kosher food as being fit for Jewish consumption, and how fantastic it was that this non-profit organization provided a much-needed service to consumers, manufacturers and retailers alike.
Saeed was astounded. Partly at the remarkable effort involved in such an operation, partly at the immense trust and faith that would be required by all parties involved, but mostly he was astounded that the notorious money-hoarding Jews hadn't yet figured out a way of making money off this crucial service!
He immediately set about forming his own authority, one which would target the Muslim population of the country. His authority's objective would be to certify all foods consumed by Muslims throughout the country as being Halaal. The fact that Muslims by nature were already extremely critical of what they consumed did not deter him in the slightest. The fact that Muslims were renowned for supporting their fellow Muslims in an effort to ensure that there was a chain of trust from manufacturer to supplier to consumer did not deter him. The fact that Muslims were buying fresh meat from butcheries named Mohammeds Butcher and fast-food from Akhalwaya's Take-Aways and such similarly named obviously Muslim outlets did not deter him.
Our intrepid entrepreneur knew that the combination of fear to consumers and potential losses to the industry was sufficient armour with which to battle and divide the sheep. The time was ripe to fleece the people, and he would rely on sheer ingenuity by pulling the wool over their eyes!
Fast-forward twenty years and Saeed was now wealthy and mighty beyond numbers and words. He was so wealthy in fact, that the mere mention from this Halaal certifying deity that a certain business had not been verified by him, was sufficient to see the business lose loyal support and ultimately close down!
He was so wealthy and mighty that the mere mention that he had not verified Sheikh Haji Mohammed Ebrahim Kareem as being Muslim, and hence the samoosas made by Sheikh Haji Mohammed Ebrahim Kareems wife, Aalima Bibi Fathima Nawaab Rasool, could not be verified as being Halaal, was sufficient to prevent the entire Muslim population from buying any samoosas made or sold by this humble family.
Forgotten were the days when the Muslim society would walk into a store, greet the owner or manager cordially and inquire as to the Halaal status of the food served, and upon being satisfied, sit down to a hearty meal.
Forgotten were the days when people would share a common trust, and there was honour between buyer and seller.
Saeed in his brilliant shrewdness had devised a way in which trust and honour were replaced by fear and uncertainty.
He had found a loophole that the Jews in their mastery of all things capitalist had overlooked.
He had found a way to make the Muslim nation fear the unknown, and to charge manufacturers and suppliers and retailers to appease those fears!
Brilliant!
Saeed had a vision where one day, every product made and manufactured, would carry the stamp of his Halaal certifying authority, and each stamp would come at a price. It would be like owning your own money-printing press! He would compete with the Reserve Bank to see who could print money faster!
By the turn of the 21st century, Saeed was making so much money, he was regarded by most as God's Banker. He was charging to certify everything and anything as being Halaal, even shoes and clothes! The depth of gullibility of the South African Muslim knew no limits. They were being led to the slaughterhouse like blind sheep. Nobody questioned. Not even when Saeed declared the most idiotic items as being unfit for Muslim consumption, simply because the manufacturer or supplier was not willing to pay him his extortion fee!
Reactionary groups were quickly formed to object to Saeeds business practices, but not with the intention of shutting him down. Instead they were furious that Saeed was not sharing the proceeds of his extortion. Within 10 years there were more Halaal certifying authorities springing up all over the country.
They had realized that the old business adage "where there are sheep there will always be a need for shepherds" would hold true for many more years, probably until Jesus came back to earth.
Avraham Ben-Zion watched in awe as such a simple act of enjoying a meal, buying a shoe or garment, or even breathing, had been turned into a racketeering and extortionist enterprise by Saeed. He couldn't believe that an entire religious society comprising doctors, lawyers, academics and professors could be so easily duped into believing that they had to pay for the right to trust.
Many years later, Avraham Ben-Zion bumped into Saeed at a local Mochacho's Chicken Outlet. The two sat down to a hearty meal and Avraham finally asked Saeed the question that had been burning inside of him for over forty years : How much is enough Saeed?
Saeed raised his gaze and smiled at Avraham.
"Until they wake up my friend, and realize the truth. Until they wake up."
Avraham sat in disbelief as Saeed detailed each new certification, and how he thought "I'll try this one on them, push the envelope, and see if they wake up." Each time the masses willingly followed. He certified fruit, and they followed. He certified water, and they followed. He certified shoes, and they followed. He certified jackets and clothing, and they followed. He certified items which had absolutely nothing to do with consumption, and yet they followed.
Every manufacturer and supplier and retailer of every product in the world was paying Saeed to place his stamp of approval on their merchandise, simply to settle the fear of the Muslim buyer that the product was Halaal, or approved for their use.
Then he outlined his plan for total domination!
He was in the process of certifying air. The very air we breath.
"Surely they will not fall for this!" Avraham Ben-Zion exclaimed.
"Surely, you would think... but they have fallen for every other idiotic idea so far, haven't they?" Saeed answered.
An empire built on the fear and belief that everything made for either consumption or use, surely contains pig fat or traces of pork, unless Saeed or his merry henchmen say otherwise.
“This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and liven with them in honour, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter” (5:5).
Interesting.
The quote from the good book mentions neither Saeed nor any "Halaal Certifying Authority"...
Baaaaa.....
On a side-note, Bilals Bunny Chows currently has over 650 outlets nationwide, second only to MacDonalds.
None of them certified as Halaal by Saeed.
On a personal note, whenever I see any of the signs below on any item I intend purchasing, I always wonder how much extortion fee's the manufacturer had to pay for the stamp of approval. Then I buy the one which doesn't have the stamp.
Eating pork is against a Muslims belief.
Being gullible and unable to use your brain to figure out right from wrong unless someone tell's it to you, is against mine.
With kind permission from thekalooreport.blogspot.com
I never really wrote about it before because my friends, family, total strangers and my legal team all advised me against it, citing the libel and defamation of character legal cases that would be opened against me.
It's only this year that this became a mute point, as my bank balance after the recession means I no longer have anything to lose by being sued. That Happy Meal fund I once kept in a trust account has now been exhausted, and I can finally throw caution to the wind.
Here's a little background for those unfamiliar with these Halaal certifying authorities.
For thousands of years, (millions if you count the dinosaurs who were religious), men and mammals have been roaming this earth and doing the most basic thing all men do: eating! (Sex will be discussed in a later post.)
When fire was discovered in 12BC (give or take a few thousand years), man (and by man I mean human beings, which includes women too) realized that adding heat to meat resulted in a sensory orgasm to the taste buds. You can only imagine what Marco Polo's journey to the East and subsequent discovery of spices in India did to the average Europeans palate!
Moving ahead 675 years, a guy by the name of Bilal arrived aboard the Dromedaris as a slave labourer in Durban, and worked the sugar-cane fields of what is now known as KwaZulu Natal.
When his cousins, uncles and 429 other immediate relatives disembarked and set up home in the Natal South Coast, predominantly in areas such as Stanger, Verulam and Chatsworth, Bilal soon realized that they were going to have a huge dinner problem that night since no women were imported from India on the same ship.
By 8pm that evening, the entrepreneurial and resourceful Bilal had set up the very first Muslim-owned fast-food outlet: Bilals Bunny Chows.
Nobody knows why or how the term "Bunny Chow" was coined, but rumour has it there was a rabbit and a Chinamen involved somewhere.
Some time in the early 70's, two mercurial friends from vastly different backgrounds were discussing the success stories of members of their respective faiths.
Saeed, a devout Muslim who owned a fabric store in the Oriental Plaza in Fordsburg, and who was renowned for selling his cloth cheaper than Rajeev Patel in India who owned the factory which made the material and sold it to Saeed; and Avraham Ben-Zion, an orthodox Jew from Norwood in Johannesburg who's family sold Hazmat suits to the emergency services sector.
Saeed and Avraham were discussing the booming fast-food industry in South Africa, and contemplated how they could best capitalize on this growing segment. During their discussions, Avraham mentioned Kashrus Beth Din and how this single body certified all kosher food as being fit for Jewish consumption, and how fantastic it was that this non-profit organization provided a much-needed service to consumers, manufacturers and retailers alike.
Saeed was astounded. Partly at the remarkable effort involved in such an operation, partly at the immense trust and faith that would be required by all parties involved, but mostly he was astounded that the notorious money-hoarding Jews hadn't yet figured out a way of making money off this crucial service!
He immediately set about forming his own authority, one which would target the Muslim population of the country. His authority's objective would be to certify all foods consumed by Muslims throughout the country as being Halaal. The fact that Muslims by nature were already extremely critical of what they consumed did not deter him in the slightest. The fact that Muslims were renowned for supporting their fellow Muslims in an effort to ensure that there was a chain of trust from manufacturer to supplier to consumer did not deter him. The fact that Muslims were buying fresh meat from butcheries named Mohammeds Butcher and fast-food from Akhalwaya's Take-Aways and such similarly named obviously Muslim outlets did not deter him.
Our intrepid entrepreneur knew that the combination of fear to consumers and potential losses to the industry was sufficient armour with which to battle and divide the sheep. The time was ripe to fleece the people, and he would rely on sheer ingenuity by pulling the wool over their eyes!
Fast-forward twenty years and Saeed was now wealthy and mighty beyond numbers and words. He was so wealthy in fact, that the mere mention from this Halaal certifying deity that a certain business had not been verified by him, was sufficient to see the business lose loyal support and ultimately close down!
He was so wealthy and mighty that the mere mention that he had not verified Sheikh Haji Mohammed Ebrahim Kareem as being Muslim, and hence the samoosas made by Sheikh Haji Mohammed Ebrahim Kareems wife, Aalima Bibi Fathima Nawaab Rasool, could not be verified as being Halaal, was sufficient to prevent the entire Muslim population from buying any samoosas made or sold by this humble family.
Forgotten were the days when the Muslim society would walk into a store, greet the owner or manager cordially and inquire as to the Halaal status of the food served, and upon being satisfied, sit down to a hearty meal.
Forgotten were the days when people would share a common trust, and there was honour between buyer and seller.
Saeed in his brilliant shrewdness had devised a way in which trust and honour were replaced by fear and uncertainty.
He had found a loophole that the Jews in their mastery of all things capitalist had overlooked.
He had found a way to make the Muslim nation fear the unknown, and to charge manufacturers and suppliers and retailers to appease those fears!
Brilliant!
Saeed had a vision where one day, every product made and manufactured, would carry the stamp of his Halaal certifying authority, and each stamp would come at a price. It would be like owning your own money-printing press! He would compete with the Reserve Bank to see who could print money faster!
By the turn of the 21st century, Saeed was making so much money, he was regarded by most as God's Banker. He was charging to certify everything and anything as being Halaal, even shoes and clothes! The depth of gullibility of the South African Muslim knew no limits. They were being led to the slaughterhouse like blind sheep. Nobody questioned. Not even when Saeed declared the most idiotic items as being unfit for Muslim consumption, simply because the manufacturer or supplier was not willing to pay him his extortion fee!
Reactionary groups were quickly formed to object to Saeeds business practices, but not with the intention of shutting him down. Instead they were furious that Saeed was not sharing the proceeds of his extortion. Within 10 years there were more Halaal certifying authorities springing up all over the country.
They had realized that the old business adage "where there are sheep there will always be a need for shepherds" would hold true for many more years, probably until Jesus came back to earth.
Avraham Ben-Zion watched in awe as such a simple act of enjoying a meal, buying a shoe or garment, or even breathing, had been turned into a racketeering and extortionist enterprise by Saeed. He couldn't believe that an entire religious society comprising doctors, lawyers, academics and professors could be so easily duped into believing that they had to pay for the right to trust.
Many years later, Avraham Ben-Zion bumped into Saeed at a local Mochacho's Chicken Outlet. The two sat down to a hearty meal and Avraham finally asked Saeed the question that had been burning inside of him for over forty years : How much is enough Saeed?
Saeed raised his gaze and smiled at Avraham.
"Until they wake up my friend, and realize the truth. Until they wake up."
Avraham sat in disbelief as Saeed detailed each new certification, and how he thought "I'll try this one on them, push the envelope, and see if they wake up." Each time the masses willingly followed. He certified fruit, and they followed. He certified water, and they followed. He certified shoes, and they followed. He certified jackets and clothing, and they followed. He certified items which had absolutely nothing to do with consumption, and yet they followed.
Every manufacturer and supplier and retailer of every product in the world was paying Saeed to place his stamp of approval on their merchandise, simply to settle the fear of the Muslim buyer that the product was Halaal, or approved for their use.
Then he outlined his plan for total domination!
He was in the process of certifying air. The very air we breath.
"Surely they will not fall for this!" Avraham Ben-Zion exclaimed.
"Surely, you would think... but they have fallen for every other idiotic idea so far, haven't they?" Saeed answered.
An empire built on the fear and belief that everything made for either consumption or use, surely contains pig fat or traces of pork, unless Saeed or his merry henchmen say otherwise.
“This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and liven with them in honour, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter” (5:5).
Interesting.
The quote from the good book mentions neither Saeed nor any "Halaal Certifying Authority"...
Baaaaa.....
On a side-note, Bilals Bunny Chows currently has over 650 outlets nationwide, second only to MacDonalds.
None of them certified as Halaal by Saeed.
On a personal note, whenever I see any of the signs below on any item I intend purchasing, I always wonder how much extortion fee's the manufacturer had to pay for the stamp of approval. Then I buy the one which doesn't have the stamp.
Eating pork is against a Muslims belief.
Being gullible and unable to use your brain to figure out right from wrong unless someone tell's it to you, is against mine.
With kind permission from thekalooreport.blogspot.com
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